About Me, Fino Menezes

fino menezesHello! My full name is actually Torfino, and despite my rather exotic-seeming name I am in fact British, born in London and raised in Brighton on the Sussex coast. My mother is a pale-skinned, freckly redhead from Dublin in Ireland, and my late father was from the small state of Goa in India, formerly a Portuguese colony, hence my somewhat exotic name. In appearance I’m neither a pale-skinned redhead and nor do I look Indian, but somewhere between the two, and more in keeping with the Portuguese name. I had a normal, happy and loving working class upbringing. At the time this website goes live, I am almost 49 years old.

For those of you who are native English-language speakers but not from the British Isles, you will just have to overlook all the British-English spelling throughout the website. It would take me too long and break my writing flow were I to try to change it all, and I would not be being myself. Complete honesty and openness from the outset I consider to be the best policy.

Cold, hard facts

Now here I am going to get down to some blunt and honest details about my past, and perhaps I’ll never know just how many of you this next paragraph will put off from reading any further. A lot depends on the lengths you are willing to go to to bring about change and to succeed and thrive in your objectives; how willing you are to be open-minded about a whole range of things that may be new to you and could seem quite radical to your old ways of thinking; and whether you are able to accept that someone’s past is just that: their past. Let’s see shall we…

  • I am an ex-convict. In my early 20s I served time in prison for a drugs offence. I was guilty, felt guilty, pled guilty in court, and served my time without complaint.
  • I took a variety of “street” drugs regularly for a quarter of a century, from the age of 15 to the age of 40.
  • Less than seven years ago I became a tramp/bum/street-person, and was by that time an alcoholic of the most chronic variety, though at the moment of the launch of this website I have more than six and a half years of unbroken sobriety under my belt. The drugs had fallen by the wayside long before that period because my lifelong obsession with alcohol dictated something had to go. The disease of alcoholism is a jealous mistress and my alcoholic condition needed to protect itself from threat, so I ‘rationalised’ I couldn’t afford two habits. I had no problem quitting drugs and never missed them, but the irrational terror of being without alcohol was a truly awful spectre that haunted me daily. Since the moment I put down my last drink on September 18th 2009 I have never reached for an alcoholic drink again, and it surprised nobody more than myself to discover that I never once missed that either. A bogeyman of my mind’s own invention.

If all that hasn’t put you off, and before I talk about my core values, let me say that on this website you are going to encounter my opinions and point of view frequently. Many of my opinions will directly, often forcefully, challenge conventional ‘wisdom’. Conventional wisdom has got you to where you are today, and you wouldn’t be looking to a website like this if you were content with the way things are going, so don’t be put off by what you read even if it appears to contradict your own personal firmly held beliefs. Try to overcome any perceived offence and permit your curiosity to read on, because in the very next line or page or chapter you may just find the seed of an idea you need to allow your own new perspective and philosophy on life to bloom and flourish. I genuinely do not set out to offend, but sometimes people will cling on to ideas and beliefs that are holding them back or harming them in some way, rather than consider a different point of view. I challenge that. I ask you to give me the opportunity to show you a different way. I may just have the solutions you desire, but I need the chance to spread them before you. If, once you have looked, you decide it’s not for you for any reason, you are free to continue to believe whatever you like, and continue to get the results those beliefs have given you up until now. I’m all for choice. It’s entirely up to you. I’m just offering an alternative. You choose.

My core values

The foundations of my core values are deeply rooted in my earnest belief that there really is a better life available to all who seek it, and I discovered the attainment of a better life is learnable, and therefore teachable. It’s also surprisingly formulaic and systematic. There are practical, proactive steps you can take to bring about change.

My life’s purpose is to pass on the information which, in such a staggeringly short period of time, has made such a massive impact on my own quality of life, my outlook, my prospects, and my feelings towards the future. Personal development is not just a solution for an individual. It has a far wider-reaching impact than that. Let’s not forget society is made up of individuals, so when individual members of society learn how to bring about positive changes in their own lives, the natural extension of that is the society to which they belong also raises its game. If we all start right here at home with ourselves, before too long we will be members of an awakening society.

We have been misled. Sometimes on purpose, sometimes “for our own good”, and many times because the person, people, or organisations who misled us genuinely believed in what they were saying. This is nobody’s fault. Attributing blame at this stage is pointless. People tend to act on the information they have at the time. Unfortunately it appears a large amount of the information we have been given is….wrong. At the very least it is outdated, outmoded, no longer serves us, and needs a rethink, wouldn’t you agree? It’s certainly not doing far too many of us much good. Once you have better information you can make better decisions. We do the best with what we have. When we know better, in terms of information and understanding, naturally we will do better in terms of our results.

Too many hardworking, honest and decent people feel trapped, lost, disillusioned, disenfranchised, stuck, deflated, adrift, powerless and a whole host of other negative feelings and emotions because the information they are acting on to make their life-choices is, at best, misguided. The good news is, there is another way to think! When you think differently you act differently. When you begin to think differently over time, you start to alter your beliefs. When you believe and act differently and consistently, these beliefs and actions become habits. When you have different habits, you are bound to get different results, and that is something you can rely upon.

My writing style

As you can no doubt see, long-form writing is alive and well on this website. I try not to waste words and I’m certain you will find value in what you read here, but I am the first to admit there is quite a lot of it. There is a lot of valuable information to cover here, and I go into great depth for the sake of a fuller understanding. So please try not to allow the length of articles to put you off from looking at them. I suggest you could either skim over them for key words and phrases that jump out and resonate with you, then go back to read the entire article in detail; or you could “chunk it” and read it a section at a time, but I do go into some depth in the topics covered so as to bring to light as much as possible and leave you with a deeper understanding of that subject, so don’t miss out on some crucial point because the length of the article put you off. I feel that glossing over things and hoping you’ll “catch my drift” is just not a satisfactory way for me to share something of such potential value to you.

Don’t fret, there will be little nuggets, tips, tricks, hacks and pointers throughout the site: quotes, soundbites, images and short videos will be uploaded from time to time, in an attempt give balance to my more longwinded items.